From Evan Mandery, author of Q: A Novel-a New York Times editors' pick-and creator of the Peabody and Emmy-Award winning series Artificial, comes this first-ever collection of short fiction, including several previously unpublished stories. A woman spends her life planning her funeral, only to have her dreams shattered from beyond the grave when her best friend eulogizes off script. Disappointed parents return a precocious, genetically-engineered child with an unfortunate, incurable fondness for punning. An alien graduate student studying the sociology of American popular culture squanders the previous days of his fellowship waiting for the cable guy.These pages are populated by unforgettable characters: the Buddha, returned to Earth as a segmented worm; Nosferatu Rabinowitz, a middle-aged Jewish vampire struggling against the indignities of old age; Ben Brogan, a tycoon-turned-cyborg, confronting his former tormenters at his 25th high school reunion; August Willard and Phil Yarnow, the opposing players in a 35-years-and-running game of Risk; and, of course, the Elders themselves, who offer the key to the eternal question of how the Jewish people could have controlled all of the world's major governments and financial institutions and yet have suffered such tragedy.These hilarious stories at the intersection of science, superstition and neurosis will darken even the brightest spirits.