I am officially a widow. After being married to the same man for nearly forty years, I found myself at a place I hadn't wanted to be, hadn't asked to be, and hadn't planned to be. The physical loss of my love, hero, and best friend was devastating, but the fear of a future without him is terrifying. All our hopes, dreams, and plans are gone.

As a married couple, we were a team. He had my back, and I had his. Now there is a huge void, and all the uncomforting platitudes voiced by relatives and friends cannot convince me that "everything is going to be all right." With the peace and comfort that comes from my heavenly Father, I may survive; but after being married for decades, it is foolish to expect a new widow to "just move on." It takes someone who has walked in these shoes to understand the dark place that is currently mine as well as so many other widows and widowers.